Loss Of Confidence And Self-Esteem In Menopause

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Once we enter perimenopause we know we may have to deal with some of the usual symptoms that this time of life brings such as hot flushes, night sweats and weight gain. But there are some other symptoms that many women don’t realise may become part of their lives while going through menopause.

Anxiety and depression are now also widely accepted as being symptoms of menopause that women may experience. These challenging physical and mental changes is the cause of another symptom that is not often talked about or acknowledged and that’s a loss of confidence and self-esteem in many menopausal women.

group of older women taking a selfie

In our 20’s 30’s and 40’s we can be brimming with confidence. When you get that job you wanted, open your first business, buy a house, have a child, do your taxes. 

Then menopause hits and you may find that confidence slipping away. 

For me I didn’t notice it at first but over time it became clear that my self esteem and confidence had taken a bit of a hammering. I felt less empowered and it’s a little scary. 

And this is exactly how it happens.

What Causes Lack Of Confidence In Menopause?

Menopause can cause weight gain, hot flashes, night sweats, brain fog, anxiety and depression. Women can struggle with the changes and symptoms and often don’t ask for help. It is common for women to not even realise they are going through menopause. 

The science behind it is this. 

As your estrogen levels reduce, your adrenal glands kick into gear and start to go into overdrive. 

Your adrenal glands help to control your nervous system and the lower levels of estrogen get them a little upset.

Women will often experience more anxiety and nervousness. Situations that they would have once taken in their stride are now more difficult.

There’s no lion chasing you or other event that allows your adrenals to do their thing so instead your mind goes into overdrive. 

Your imagination goes a bit haywire and things that you would normally take in your stride worry you.

Over time you lose your confidence and the hard part is you don’t notice until it’s happened. 

Now situations which would once have been a breeze to get through leave you exhausted or in tears. You may find yourself more susceptible to being bullied or more easily persuaded into circumstances you wouldn’t normally contemplate.

You could find yourself not really liking what you see in the mirror. All you can see are the wrinkles, grey hair that’s now more frizz than curl and loose skin. 

Your usual makeup style now makes you look like mutton dressed as lamb, you no longer like how you look in outfits that you would have once loved.

The trick to getting your groove back is to approach it systematically.

Related Post: How To Deal With Depression And Anxiety During Menopause

How Do I Work On Boosting My Confidence?

To start:

This may be a good time for some self reflection and a review of your life and health practices.

The next logical step is to tackle any menopause symptoms you’re experiencing.

And of course the best way to tackle the symptoms and help boost your confidence is through exercise and diet.

I write a lot about diet and exercise and my best posts to help you are:

Lots of nutrient rich food will help to feed all those parts of your body that will help you to feel and look amazing.

Keep to a consistent exercise schedule. Achieving some exercise each day will benefit your complexion, muscle tone and waistline. 

Being healthy leads to feeling good, and feeling good is the ticket to looking good and feeling good about yourself.

Beat The Stress



  • 3 Simple breathing techiques for an instant stress relief 
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  • Real life examples of how to use each

Hydrate To Keep Your Adrenal Glands Healthy

Hydration is hugely important when it comes to maintaining your adrenal glands. They’re thirsty glands and dehydration makes them jumpy so make sure to drink plenty of water.

The next time you’re feeling nervous about something try drinking a glass of water and see if it helps.

Related Post: Adrenal Fatigue: Foods, Symptoms, Tests, and Supplements to Support Recovery

Meditate For A Boost To Your Self Esteem and Confidence

Make time for 15 minutes of meditation every day. Just sitting getting quiet and aware of your body and breathing is all that is needed.

I know myself if I’m not meditating regularly I am less able to cope with difficult situations and I become very focussed on what is missing from my life rather than everything I already have.

When you are comfortable with where you are at in your life confidence follows. The more confident you are about where you are at the more good stuff you will attract into your life.

Related Post: Free Guided Meditations For Better Health In Menopause

Negative Things And People Knock Your Confidence

Have you heard the one about you’re as good as the company you keep? It’s true. Do your best to cut yourself loose from negative people and things.

You want friends in your life that are okay with telling you how great you are. Not the ones that for some reason can’t compliment their friend because it might take away from their own selves.

Sometimes there are people that for some reason or other you can’t cast away. If that’s the case just limit your time with them.

Don’t dwell on all the bad news in the world especially in this time of pandemic.

Read positive books. I’m currently reading The Moment of Lift by Melinda Gates. It’s inspiring and makes me feel hope and positivity. 

Watch your favourite shows that make you laugh. 

Be grateful, laugh more, help others.

One thing I know about confidence is that it looks good on a woman, especially a woman in midlife. 

Their confidence shines out and gives them an attractiveness that mixes with their experience of life to form a beautiful magnetism.

It’s normal to feel a little lost and lack confidence during this time in your life. But you don’t have to let it define you. Focus on finding your power in whatever way is comfortable for you. 

confident woman smiling

Your Great Big List Of Things To Do To Improve Your Confidence And Self Esteem

  1. Stop the negative self-talk. Your mind is listening and there is no better way to deal a blow to your confidence than by calling yourself an idiot no matter funny it may seem at the time.
  2. Start practising gratitude. Your first thoughts in the morning should be what you are grateful for that day.
  3. The same at night. Think of what you were pleased with that day. 
  4. Learn something today that you didn’t know yesterday.
  5. Do Something for yourself today. Buy a book, have a bath, give yourself a facial, buy yourself some flowers, even just cut your nails.
  6. Make time for coffee with a friend. 
  7. Wear what you love and make you feel good.
  8. Meditate.
  9. Mind your money. Give your money a job to do, pay your bills, organise your expenses. Look after money and it will look after you.
  10. Get a haircut. Think about getting a whole new style.
  11. Practice being quiet and listening more. It’s amazing what you hear when you sit back and observe. This doesn’t mean you need to be aloof, just don’t feel like you need to fill the void with noise. 
  12. Practice random acts of kindness. Pay for someone’s coffee. Buy someone flowers. Smile at people.
  13. Make your posture more confident. Shoulders back, head up. Walk like a person who is confident and successful.
  14. Become more active
  15. Remove toxic people from your life. If you can’t remove them then make less time for them.
  16. Don’t compare yourself to others. Follow your own road.
  17. Create a nice bedtime routine that you follow every night that gets you ready for a good night’s sleep. Eg: turn the lights down, journal, do a 10 minute bedtime yoga routine, turn off electronic devices, have a cup of camomile tea, read for a bit. 
  18. Develop a skincare routine, to get your face glowing and you feeling better in how you look. Use beautiful natural products. Often these are cheaper than their chemical filled counterparts.
  19. Adopt some new healthy habits – from drinking more water to cutting down time on social media add on each week. That’s 52 new healthy habits every year.
  20. Choose a positive mantra and try it out for a while for how you’ll live your life. Mine at the moment is “I am strong”
  21. Focus on your diet. Make health and nutrition a priority. Cut out one bad food today and add in one good. Then another and keep going.
  22. Live mindfully. Watch some Abraham Hicks or Joe Dispensa videos for some insight.
  23. Be aware of what you think. Catch negative thoughts so that they lose their power and spend a little time each day thinking about and seeing yourself living the life of your dreams.
  24. Sign up for Notes From The Universe at https://www.tut.com/inspiration/nftu. These are beautifully crafted little personalised notes sent daily that are a fabulous reminder of the beautiful power of the universe.
  25. Stop being afraid to fail. There is a lesson in every failed attempt.
  26. Say “no” more often.
  27. Set some goals. Give yourself a purpose. Something that means something to you and gives you a reason to bounce out of bed. We’re in mid-life, and don’t have one foot in the grave yet!
  28. Keep smiling. A smile spurs a powerful chemical reaction in the brain that can make you feel happier. And the happier you are, the better you’ll feel. There’s also ALWAYS a reason to smile, even if some days you have to dig a little deeper than others!

In Conclusion

Confidence and self esteem may take a hit when you enter midlife but the beauty is you are able to work on getting it back and when you do it stays in place. 

Loss of confidence is only temporary if you choose that it should be. It takes a little self reflection and work but you can get it back and the good thing is when you do it’s back to stay and with far more self awareness. You will emerge stronger and wiser with so much more to offer the world.

pin of confident woman smiling

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